Nail jokes
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
Fuk Nip shat!
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.