Nail jokes
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
I wish I had emo nails,
So they could cut themselves.
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree?..
1 baby nailed to 10 trees.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Dcexcedcrd.
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.