Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails
one day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER" the guy said. So the duck walked away. The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree. What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Did jesus cut his nails? No! His nails cut through him.
A duck walks into a bar and says "Got any bread?" The bartender says "No bread here." And then the duck says "Got any bread?" And the bartender says "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?" And the duck says "Got any bread?!" And the bartender says "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail." So the duck says "Got any nails?" And then the bartender looks surprised, and says "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?" And the duck says "Got any bread?" And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died
Jesus walks in to a motel throws 3 nails on the counter and says can you put me up for a night
Why are carpenters never horny after work? Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things
What card is the slowest and slimy? Ace-nail
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
part 2 : he walks up to a stake and nails himself there. then he finds the knife and says someone to find a cake to celebrate his death. but everybody came. that was the sign that nobody loved him and thats how you know if people love you
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree???
My dick while I'm doing it.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team? He kept getting nailed to the boards
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
I with I had emo nails,
So they could cut themselves
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
Mommy mommy, why do I keep running around in circles? Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
