Nail jokes
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Cardi B has very long nails.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
Hi Bradyeeeeeeee!
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.