My jokes

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Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

Here's some of my weird jokes:

What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.

Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.

Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

What did I say to my friend, "Job, your new name is Jojo Siva?"

What did I say to my friend? "Job, your new name is Jojo Siwa."

Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

My dog has no nose.

How does he smell?

Terrible!

My life #freemymanrkelly

My life is a joke.

What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?

An orphan.

My dick hard.

If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.

If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

My mom is gay.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,

"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"