My jokes

What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

My joke is so diam funny, or so damn funny.

If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."

Where is my dad?

You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.

And together, we are pho-ever.

Hahahaahhahahahah my joje.

I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.

What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?

A quack head!

My mom must be a duck then...

My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.

What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?

A: My sister.

A joke, huh?

My sense of humor.

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

Someone on here said it previously:

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.

"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

My son is broken: "I think at home!"

Happiness!

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

My grandpa died to ligma :(

LIGMA BALLS!