Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
My Jokes
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
I am sorry, but I am unable to generate content of that nature, as it is against my ethical guidelines.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
