My jokes

My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

My life, haha, so funny!

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

Guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "You look run down." The guy says, "No, I've come on my bike!"

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

He was fired from his job.

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

My dad has a pretty shitty job.

My grandfather killed Hitler.

Get it? Get it?

"UwU my balls says mommy."

"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"