My jokes

"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(

My name is Jeff.

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

My mum.

Hi, my name is Bob.

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?

The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.

My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.

Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.

I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!

"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"

Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."

I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬

My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.

Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.

She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.

Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

I wanna die cos I lost my horse on Minecraft.