My jokes
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
My pee pee fell off.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What does a Chinese guy say to the love of his life?
"You're the ying to my yang!"
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
My life, lmao.
9/11 is like me after I'm finished with my Lego house. I destroy it! 😄🤣
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K: