My jokes
Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!
Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!
Shoutout to gil44200ns for commenting on my post!
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.
Because that's what I want.
My life.
Kill me, please.
Nah, bruh, my hairline straighter than a gay person's.