My jokes

"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."

At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!

I like penis in my bum!

What did the feather say to his wife?

You light my day.

What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?

"When am I gonna see my parents?"

Lmao.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

The rain is my tears.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.

I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.

What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?

A fine addition to my erection.

My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!

I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”