My jokes

I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.

Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.

PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.

Thank you.

I love my dog!

Me: Are you okay?

Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.

If I die, delete my search history.

Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."

Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,

"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."

And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."

I was looking forward to reading the short jokes to see if I could find my uncle.

My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!

Me: I got 60 kills!

My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!

Me: What's Call of Duty?

I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

Me: Bomber333 is the imposter!

Other Crewmate: Why do you say that as if you know who the imposter is with 100% certainty?

Then he read my username and knew.

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

"I love you with all my heart."