My jokes

"Sigma" - By every boy in my class.

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

Want to hear a joke? My life.

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.

I know that my jokes are never punny but...

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes.

Then it hit me.

I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I've never heard them.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orphan.

Orphan who?

Are you my mommy?

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

What is my favorite color? Yellow.

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.