My jokes

I love riding my bike 🚲.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

My life, part 2.

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.

I can't wait to have 2020 in my hindsight.

My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?

I wake up and I find myself on the floor.

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?

My life.

My dog got stuck in my ass, help!

Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”

My fish puns aren't on porpoise.

He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.

He's now my sister.

I like my COVID like I like my women: 19 and easy to spread.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?

If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.

What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?

"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"