My jokes

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.

My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.

My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.

Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.

The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.

The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”

My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

I don't like Roblox Adopt Me. It reminds me of my past.

I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

My cock was in the book of world records...

The librarian told me to take it out.

Daveon is my blud, cuh.