My jokes
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.
My life, part 2.
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
Memes
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
My will to live.
Dinosaurs be like:
".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Are you my mommy?
What is my favorite color? Yellow.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.