My jokes

My life, part 2.

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!

My dad left me.

Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?

My life.

Mommy, why is my name Brick???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.

Mommy, why is my name Rose???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.

Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

What is my favorite color? Yellow.

My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."

Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?

Dad: Because you were made there.

Mum: We haven't been to Canada.

Dad: Hol' up a minute.

My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.

My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.