Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
My Jokes
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasnāt talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh Iām done with her big ass mouth.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
Dear Kenya, love of life,
Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis š„°šā¤ļøš!
Love you a million times more!
Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!
Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! Thereās a strange man in my room and I think heās on drugs!"
Sheās so nice.
I donāt drink, donāt swear, donāt smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
My balls when I see Tazzaro: boioioioioioing.
Why donāt orphans play baseball? Cause they donāt know where home is!
Why donāt orphans play baseball? Cause they donāt know where home is!
Why donāt orphans play baseball? Cause they donāt know where home is!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
