What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?
My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.
My Jokes
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut for me.
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.
Dick in my mouth.
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
Dababy in my dickle trickle when eating my pickle.
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
