My jokes
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
Memes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
WD 5TB My Passport Portable External Hard Drive HDD, USB 2.0 Compatible, Black - WDBPKJ0050BBK-WESN
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
Gumball: What's that? Is it a twig?
Banana Joe: No.
Darwin: Is it a leaf?
Banana Joe: No.
Gumball: What is it then?
Banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!
Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.