My jokes
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
My PC.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
My Butterfingers slipped.
My favorite Pixar film: Wall-E.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
My entire existence.
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
My live.
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
My mom
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.