Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
My Jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
WD 5TB My Passport Portable External Hard Drive HDD, USB 2.0 Compatible, Black - WDBPKJ0050BBK-WESN
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
