My jokes

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

No one has my back like my dad.

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

My grandpa was the goat, he killed Hitler! 🥳🥳🥳

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

I turned gay because my wife is too poor.

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.