My jokes
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
You can't YEE your last HAW!
But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
My dick harder than stone, man.