My jokes

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

My mom picked my major.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

First bite: Oh my God!

Second bite: Oh my, God!

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

I am Asian.

I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.

Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

My life is like... the shoe rack-

Wow! The jokes on here are so dark they pick my cotton!

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

Roblox jokes be like: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I should create a game.

*Creates game* bruh my game got to thousand hundred 700,000 likes!

😄😄😄

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.