My jokes

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

You know what I told my little brother plane?

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

I left my Avatar at home today.

I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.

What did the parent say to M.J.?

"Get off my kid!"

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.