My jokes

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

I love my family.

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.

Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

Someone is adding dirt to my garden!

The plot thickens!

Want to hear a joke?

My life. Get it?

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa