My jokes
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...
I really need some new parts to my go-kart.
Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
Roses are red, my toaster too,
Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?
Here [are] some questions firesharky:
1. What color hair do u have?
2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?
3. What state [were] u born in?
Do not say I don't know.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."
Lick my balls.