My jokes

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"

The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"

The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"

The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"

The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind, it’s too long.

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

I like my women like I like my diving pools.

Wet and deep.

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.

My name is Myria, my right nut.

What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?

They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."

My father can take a joke because he made one.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"