My jokes

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?

My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You're my closet confidant!"

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!