My jokes

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

My ass itches.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.