My jokes
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
Roses are red, my toaster too,
Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?
Here [are] some questions firesharky:
1. What color hair do u have?
2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?
3. What state [were] u born in?
Do not say I don't know.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!