My jokes

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.

Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Roses are red, violets are blue, My heart is dead, I’m such a fool.

I love my new phone.

I love my family.

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!