My jokes
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...
"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...
I really need some new parts to my go-kart.