My jokes

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?

My Chemical Romance.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?

Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!

Me: Where are they?

Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

I called my dog 5 miles.

Today, I fawn over my miles.

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"