My jokes

how old are my girlfriends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters

Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.

Best pilot of Southern Arabia

Allahu Akbar.

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

I am a George Formby fan, and I love football. My favourite manager was Arsène Wenger. My favourite referee was Collina. My favourite player was Dean Windas. So my favourite George Formby song was "Wenger, Collina, Windas."

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.