My jokes
Roses are red, my toaster too,
Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?
Here [are] some questions firesharky:
1. What color hair do u have?
2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?
3. What state [were] u born in?
Do not say I don't know.
My friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: No.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because you are a joke.
Friend: Your life is too...
Me: :)
Friends :)
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
Memes
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
All my 9/11 jokes crash and burn.
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
I killed my cat.