My jokes

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

I cried when my dad cut onions.

Onions was a good dog.

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.

My face.

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.

Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!

Rachel: Alright!

On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.

Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!

Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.

Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"