My jokes

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )

I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.

My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.