My jokes

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"

Why do my kids die?

Stinky Oussy :D

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

My uncle got really badly burned the other day.

They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

"What's 9 + 10?"

"21" (lol XD)

Also:

"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)

One more thing:

Ninja has ligma.

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

Some dude: Water you thinking?

Me: You're drowning in my head.

"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."

Ok.

"Thank you, what is your wish?"

I wish for my 5 cents back.

What is blue and wiggling on my floor?

A baby in a bag.

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.