My jokes

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

Me: Do you like cobble?

My friend: No.

Me: Gobble deez nuts!

Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

My career is worth more than your adoption.

My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."