My jokes

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.

Thank you, nurse!

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

It squirted in my eye, God dammit!

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

My uncle got really badly burned the other day.

They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

"What's 9 + 10?"

"21" (lol XD)

Also:

"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)

One more thing:

Ninja has ligma.

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."