My jokes

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

One more 360 noscope for my montage.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

Battery 1%.

I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.

My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.

Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!

Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!

The Twin Towers collapsed faster than my grandma did.

If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)