My jokes

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

The fetus: "lol same here."

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?

Friends: What?

Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.

Girl: Wanna come over to my house?

Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

What’s black and white and dead all over? My Chemical Romance.

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.