My jokes

I took a plane to go see my hairline.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.