A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
My Jokes
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
