My jokes
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
My life, haha, so funny!
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.