Must jokes
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Deck the halls with bowels of Holly, fa la la la la, la la la la.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Curry must hurry.
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.