Movie jokes

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?

They both have red circles on their bodies.

I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?

Harry Potter.

What do you call a group of emo people?

"The Suicide Squad."

We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.

Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!

what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"

Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.

I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

E.T. eventually went home!

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.

Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.