Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What is a orphans favorite movie? Meet the family
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.
You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
