Movie jokes
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
Your mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his finger, she only lost weight.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
I work at a movie studio.
Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.
The team:
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
Yo mama so ugly that when she watches "The Outsiders," they become "The Insiders."
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.