Mouth jokes
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?
A: Useless.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ahoy Mateys.
Ahoy Mateys who?
Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL
I was bulimic but I gave it up.
It just left a bad taste in my mouth.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!