Mouth jokes
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
"(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP: TEENY DICK
BUMP: TINY TIT
GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP: AN ASS
DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
What is a testicle's favorite book?
Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Have you heard of China...
China fit this dick in your mouth.
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.