Mouth jokes

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

There were three men, and two of them died.

The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"

What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?

Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.

How do you eat a meat?

You steak it in your mouth.

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.