Mouth jokes

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

There were three men, and two of them died.

The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"

What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?

Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.

How do you eat a meat?

You steak it in your mouth.

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.