me: i have depression
someone: u should get out more! go outside
me: *goes to the beach* now its a tropical depression
Uranus is larger than Neptune but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke also Neptune don't kill me)
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It Was More Than 90*
Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok... mhmmm.. WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it..) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn't know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Quote for the day
I looked this quot up but It really is a good thing just for starters.
“Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY”
Also loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen
:)
My friends hate when i make skeleton jokes.I guess i need to put more backbone into it.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If I was any more inbred I'd be a sandwich
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
buy kfc= 1 more orphan in our fryers
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito? He gets to tear that ass up one more time
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were. Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more political corrupted than the man boy love association of america because it is politically motivated? Libertarian Party 🤔 💭 💡 😲 🫢 😭 😠 😡 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸
So some ants in a colony go to war. they want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants. they start barging into home's to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home and the lady-ant goes "Hey. why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants reply with "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I would like to tell more jokes about 911 but they always crash and burn
