Mores jokes
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.