Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife? Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive? -- Their knees.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until its too light to light.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick and I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She won't talk to me any more.
What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, NO MORE!
Well at least my adoption fee cost more than you
did you know? about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark
what at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth and its more fun if it vibrates ? a toothbrush
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity then the SantaFe school shooting?
Cause Royal Weddings dont happen every week.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
Riddles not jokes
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
and last one
What can rule, but not command?
Tell meh the answers in the comments
like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
1 more thing: DoN"t google it or search it up, use ur brain to answer these.
The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grab one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are to young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
