Mores jokes

Quote for the day.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"

Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."

"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"

Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more politically corrupted than the man boy love association of America because it is politically motivated?

Libertarian Party.

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.

More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?