Mores Jokes

My friend: you ever feel like life is pointless *drives faster* Me: yea- My friend: if you could die with one person who would it be? *speeds up more* Me: H-hey you should slow down! slow down slow down! were about to-

Withered Bonnie more like Bonnie Mcnutt

What is the difference in between a orphan and a TV?

One has more channels

I was walking till i saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said where are your parents? He cried even more. oh i just love talking to orphans.

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather. Chloe says "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic" John says "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler"

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

"I hope my death would make more sense then my life"- Joker

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Trump, Must I say more?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My credit card is more declined the the love from my dad

I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets....

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?