Mores jokes

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

Never eat more than you can lift.

A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class!

"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?

Uranus!

(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

"What's 9 + 10?"

"21" (lol XD)

Also:

"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)

One more thing:

Ninja has ligma.

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com has more zebra jokes.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

What's more sensitive than a pushy?

A Western man on the internet.

My career is worth more than your adoption.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?