Morbidity

Morbidity jokes

Friend

    • So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

    So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"

    I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"

    She said, "Sniff, yes."

  • 0

    • Lie

    • A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

    “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

    “Let me start,” says the son.

    “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

    “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

    “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

    “Your right!” He replies.

    “I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

    “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

    “The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

  • 1

    • Orphanage

    • Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...

  • 1

    • Knife

    • Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.

    You'd look great With a knife in your back.

  • 1

    • Priest

    • A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

  • 17

    • Grass

    • Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...

  • 5