Morbid jokes
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
馃憣neck
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don鈥檛 give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here鈥檚 another.
Why can鈥檛 China play baseball? They ate the bat.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.