Morbid jokes
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
Why did half the world go to hell? Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED (again)!
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
The morbid jokes on this site.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"
She said, "Sniff, yes."
What’s the difference between morbid humor and dark humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in one trash can, and morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
Cuddle with you.🙂
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)