Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats. My dog is named curiosity, and your cat is dead
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!” MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar. Twins
I like my women like how like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean
What do you call a deaf animal? Anything, it can't hear you.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner
Hippity hoppity Hiroshima Nagasaki
What's funny about dead baby jokes. -They never get old.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How do You punish helen keller.
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don't belong in buildings
/Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous? Because she blew up.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Doctor: you'll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids
Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun does off in its mouth
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns? You cannot unload the sand with pitchfork.
