Why did hitler kill him self? His gas bill was to high
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail
A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied "I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing"
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes *gasp* how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that.. and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man do I love being a sniper.
What's the difference between eggs, and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Q: how do you know when an asian broke into your house?
A: you can ́t find your dog.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer.... Finding Chemo
What’s the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you're dad came.
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
